REAL STORIES
Hi, I’m Gary Raymond a retired Chief Inspector of the New South Wales Police Force in Sydney, Australia. Prior to joining the police, I was an Ambulance Officer with the Ambulance Service of New South Wales.
In the Police, I was a General Duties Operative • Rescue Instructor & Operator • Designated Detective • Peer Support Officer • Senior Royal Commission Investigator • Duty Officer • Commander • Terrorism Risk Assessor.
I performed duty at Redfern Police Station • Police Rescue Squad • Blacktown Police Station • Riverstone Police Station • Cabramatta Police Station • Criminal Investigation Branch • Royal Commission Investigations • Manly Police Station • Rugby World Cup Command.
In the Police, I was a General Duties Operative • Rescue Instructor & Operator • Designated Detective • Peer Support Officer • Senior Royal Commission Investigator • Duty Officer • Commander • Terrorism Risk Assessor.
I performed duty at Redfern Police Station • Police Rescue Squad • Blacktown Police Station • Riverstone Police Station • Cabramatta Police Station • Criminal Investigation Branch • Royal Commission Investigations • Manly Police Station • Rugby World Cup Command.
I worked at the Hilton Hotel Bombing • Granville Train Disaster • Luna Park Ghost Train Fire • Newcastle Earthquake • Thredbo Landslide Disaster • Manly Ferry collision • Nurse Anita Cobby’s murder • Member of Parliament John Newman’s assassination • Cyclone Larry in North Queensland • Boxing Day Tsunami Disaster in Sri Lanka.
Whilst in Police Rescue, I performed cliff rescues • tower rescues • urban search & rescues • bomb disposal • crime scene searches • body recovery • motor vehicle crash rescues • industrial rescues • search & rescue • helicopter crew • animal rescues • armed offender situations • gaol riots and much more
I have lectured police in Australia • United Kingdom • Ireland • Fiji • New Zealand • the United States of America.
I am at present Chaplain to the Police Post Trauma Support Groups and a member of the Salvation Army’s Suicide Prevention and Bereavement Board for the Australian Eastern Territory.
I have been awarded the Australian Police Medal • The Order of Australia Medal • National Medal with clasp • New South Wales Police Service Medal • Police Commissioner’s Certificate of Merit • Local Area Commander’s Commendation • New South Wales Volunteer Rescue Association Medallion • Police Commissioner’s Olympic Citation.
Whilst in Police Rescue, I performed cliff rescues • tower rescues • urban search & rescues • bomb disposal • crime scene searches • body recovery • motor vehicle crash rescues • industrial rescues • search & rescue • helicopter crew • animal rescues • armed offender situations • gaol riots and much more
I have lectured police in Australia • United Kingdom • Ireland • Fiji • New Zealand • the United States of America.
I am at present Chaplain to the Police Post Trauma Support Groups and a member of the Salvation Army’s Suicide Prevention and Bereavement Board for the Australian Eastern Territory.
I have been awarded the Australian Police Medal • The Order of Australia Medal • National Medal with clasp • New South Wales Police Service Medal • Police Commissioner’s Certificate of Merit • Local Area Commander’s Commendation • New South Wales Volunteer Rescue Association Medallion • Police Commissioner’s Olympic Citation.
Firstly, the same person tried to murder me on two separate occasions. That person was, my own mother. She met my Dad at a dance and that night, I was conceived on Stockton Beach near Newcastle. My mum came from a middle class English migrant family and my dad a returned soldier having served in the Cowra Prisoner of War Camp, New Guinea and Indonesia. They went their separate ways that night until my mother found out she was pregnant with me. She panicked and was terrified at what her mother and step father would say. There was also the shame to be brought upon mum’s family if neighbours and friends found out. She struggled telling someone and finally in desperation booked in to an Abortion Clinic to have me terminated. At the clinic, she watched other women getting booked in for terminations. She began to get disturbed and have second thoughts about destroying me. My mother’s name was put on a list on the wall. The rather largely built female nurse called out her name in a critical disparaging way, as my mother was a single woman, “Miss Harris, Miss Harris, your next.” My mother told me she felt deep fear, guilt and an overwhelming compulsion to leave the clinic and spare my life, which she did. She ran from the clinic into a nearby park and cried all day. She finally got the courage to go home and tell her mother and step father. She said her mother was shocked, upset and ashamed. When the ‘dust’ finally settled she said, “Well Beryl, you are going to have this baby away in the country somewhere and have it adopted out or find its father and see what his intentions are. I don’t want anybody to find out.”
Find my father? She didn’t even know his surname. After enquiries with people, my mother eventually found my dad in a hotel in New Lambton. She called him out onto the footpath and gave him the news. Without even a moment’s hesitation he said, “Well, I’ll marry you to give my baby his dad.” My dad was a man of honour who was brought up by his mother after his father died at a young age. A ‘shotgun wedding’ was hurriedly arranged. My father didn’t tell his mother, Nana Raymond, until the Saturday of the wedding. My Aunty Shirl was present when He said, “Mum, we are going to a wedding today.” She said, “Oh, who’s getting married?” He said,” Me.” She panicked, not because of the sudden wedding, but the only decent dress she had, was hanging on the clothes line wet. Nana and Aunty Shirl quickly ironed it dry. My mum and Dad were married with a small number of people present. She wore a pale coloured dress. She wasn’t allowed to wear white, being pregnant out of wedlock with me.
Married life was not good. My dad had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the war years. We had little money. My dad was out drinking with his mates, involved in sport and gambling on the greyhound dogs and horse trotters. On the 13th December 1950, I was born. I was born with a ‘hair lip’. My mother told me she thought it was a curse from God, to remind her she got pregnant out of wedlock. My Aunty Shirl told me that my mum was very uptight for a little while at having a newborn. My mum and dad tried to have a girl but Neil was born. They continued but Kevin, Trevor and Brian were born. They gave up the ‘girl idea’ after five boys. Their marriage was still very strained with my dad on a storeman’s low wage, still drinking and gambling. We often had no food left in the house at the end of each week. There was yelling and swearing in the home. We lived in Nana’s house in New Lambton as we could not afford our own. We had no car and used to walk or ride bicycles for transport. Things got worse. I remember mum grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer one night and told dad she would kill herself and all of us boys, if the hardship continued. My dad didn’t believe her and said, “Wake up to yourself and stop being so stupid”. I'll never forget the look on mum’s face. That was a turning point.
My mother told me she became angrier and deeply depressed. She was trapped. She finally decided to actually carry out killing us and killing herself. The plan was hatched. She placed a mark on a Sunday, on a calendar in the kitchen, which was the day she would kill herself, me and my brothers. My dad would be out to sport that day and Nana Raymond would be at Aunty Shirl’s. She went to Doctor Murphy and pretended she couldn’t sleep to obtain sleeping pills on prescription. She was actually planning to use the pills, in cordial, to sedate us boys and minimise our trauma when gassed. My mother rolled up towels and secured them with sticky tape. These rolls were to be used to stop the gas getting out from under the doors, she told me. She also said she wrote a note and hid it in a place where the police would find it on discovering our bodies. She told me she felt a weird calmness and peace when she had finally made the decision to go ahead with the murder/suicide. She felt it was the only answer to our misery and dead-end lives.
After the knife episode, I became convinced that mum would actually kill us. Dad didn’t. I just had a feeling she was angry enough to do it. I had many sleepless nights listening for the floorboards to creak as she walked past or watching for her shadow to appear under the door. This I thought would be the time she had arrived to kill us. I wet the bed for years coming to grips with my fear. My schoolwork suffered as I saw our family deteriorate. My school reports at that time said I could do better. I never told a soul about my innermost fear of my mother. It was all consuming.
After the knife episode, I became convinced that mum would actually kill us. Dad didn’t. I just had a feeling she was angry enough to do it. I had many sleepless nights listening for the floorboards to creak as she walked past or watching for her shadow to appear under the door. This I thought would be the time she had arrived to kill us. I wet the bed for years coming to grips with my fear. My schoolwork suffered as I saw our family deteriorate. My school reports at that time said I could do better. I never told a soul about my innermost fear of my mother. It was all consuming.
In the meantime, a Salvation Army officer, Lieutenant Fisher was door knocking and mum sent us boys off to Sunday school. Some weeks later, on a Saturday night, my mum attended our Sunday school anniversary. Nana Raymond was there that night as well. We performed on stage singing and doing other items with other young people. My mother said she watched us performing, knowing full well, the next day she would kill us. She felt no remorse. She had no emotions left. At the end of the programme we were presented with Bibles and books as prizes. Brigadier Spillet, the Salvation Army officer who was MC that night, got up to speak. My mother recalled vividly what he said,” Ladies and gentlemen, what a great message we’ve had from the young people here tonight. I know it’s a night for them, but I feel in my heart God the Holy Spirit is telling me that there is an adult here that needs Jesus to forgive your sin and heal your hurts. God is telling me that this person must come forward and kneel here to receive all that God has for you.” Mum told me his next words pieced her heart with amazement and conviction. He said,” God has told me that this decision will not wait until tomorrow, it has to be tonight. Come forward now, in Jesus name.” My mother said she was dumfounded at those words and knew it was her that God had referred to. Suddenly, her sin and the need for emotional healing overwhelmed her heart. She felt unbearable guilt. What she was about to do the next day, invaded the depths of her soul. She stood up, removed a light coat, looked around at people and walked quickly forward bursting into uncontrollable tears and knelt at the front of the church. A number of women moved forward and knelt to pray with her. God confronted my mother. She repented and was gloriously born again and filled with God the Holy Spirit that night. Everyone in the church celebrated when mum told them what God had saved her from doing the next day.
Next morning she told my father what she was going to do that very day. She showed him the note, pills and towels. He was shocked and upset. My mother went on to explain that she had received Jesus and come into faith in Him the previous night at the Salvation Army. My father expressed his deep sorrow for the hurt he’d caused and promised things would change, which they drastically did. His behaviour changed for the better. He became a responsible husband and dad. Our family, although still poor without money, became rich in love and devotion to each other. My mum and dad brought us up to love God and longed for the day when we would each come into faith in Jesus. The neighbours even noticed there were no more yelling, swearing and cursing coming from the Raymond’s house. My dad gave his life to Christ many years later, just before he died of lung cancer. My mum is also now with the Lord as well.
Next morning she told my father what she was going to do that very day. She showed him the note, pills and towels. He was shocked and upset. My mother went on to explain that she had received Jesus and come into faith in Him the previous night at the Salvation Army. My father expressed his deep sorrow for the hurt he’d caused and promised things would change, which they drastically did. His behaviour changed for the better. He became a responsible husband and dad. Our family, although still poor without money, became rich in love and devotion to each other. My mum and dad brought us up to love God and longed for the day when we would each come into faith in Jesus. The neighbours even noticed there were no more yelling, swearing and cursing coming from the Raymond’s house. My dad gave his life to Christ many years later, just before he died of lung cancer. My mum is also now with the Lord as well.
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My own journey began with these words. “Jesus came to rescue you, when He died on the cross”, said my Sunday school teacher all those years ago. Little did she know, in the future I would be a member of the elite Police Rescue Squad. Years later, my Sergeant told me, “There is no one to rescue the rescue squad. You can’t afford to fail on a mission.” What he meant was, we couldn’t afford to have an accident at a rescue scene as we were the last hope of anyone, including ourselves. Who was right? I was just about to find out. On the evening of Thursday 29th November 1979, my world caved in around me. Would I suicide or not was a question running through my confused mind? I was alone at my home, sober for a change. My thoughts and emotions were in turmoil. I was upset, angry and grieving over a failed marriage. I was struggling to stay in control I was becoming physically sick. My lifestyle, my sin, my dangerous workload in the Police Rescue Squad was coming to a crash. You see, earlier that evening my wife of seven years marriage had arrived home, pointed out of the front window and said, “See that bloke in the car out the front? He and I are going to live together. I’m leaving you right now.” She packed a bag and left with no further explanation.
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It was such a sudden shock. I went into disbelief and denial. I thought it was a dream or more a nightmare. This can’t happen to me. Even though I’d been living as a party boy, binge drinking, smoking and womanising, how dare she do this to me? I was scared. Guilt ate away at me like an emotional acid bath. What am I going to do being alone? I didn’t want another man in her life and I didn’t want another woman in mine. What could I do? I’d been working long hours on rescue. Overtime and on- call were parts of the job when you’re a police specialist. I played hard because I worked hard and so conveniently found my excuse to self gratify. I thought, “World, if I’m going to pick up chunks of human body under a train today, then you are going to make me feel good tonight. You see, it was all about me using work as an excuse to party. I was handling the job well although, the sights, sounds, silences, smells and touches were very intrusive at times. We were all told to be tough and not cry or get upset, even if a child was killed. If the rescue cops lost it, what would happen to every one else? It was all about us being a strong example to other emergency service personnel by keeping it together, even under the most horrifying circumstances with death and injury surrounding us. I had always covered up my emotions but how was I going to cover up this night when I was confronted by the dire consequences of my own failures.
I wanted to cry but as a rescue man I wasn’t allowed to. I paced around inside the house trying to work out a solution. Would I chase her or let her go? Would I tell her I loved her or hated her? Would I look up the bloke and break his neck or leave him alone? Would I get someone else or just stay alone? Would she come back or stay away forever? How would I explain to family and friends? The mess of my life started to confront me. I was a rescue hero on the outside but a human failure on the inside or as the song says, “I’m sunny on the outside but raining on the inside.” I was looking at myself in mirrors around the house telling myself to, “Get yourself together, don’t fall to bits, wake up to yourself, come on you can do it. I had to be tough like I was on the job. My reputation depended on it. I wanted to cry but as a rescue man I wasn’t allowed to.
I was breathing heavily, my mouth was dry, my head was pounding, I was shaking, my lips were quivering and my stomach churned over and over. I was reaching the end of my resources, the bottom of the barrel. I became totally hopeless and helpless. I could not stand the heartache anymore. My Police revolver was in a locked drawer fully loaded. We kept them at home on call in those days. I didn’t want to die and I didn’t want to live. It crossed my mind to go in and get my revolver to end the anguish. I shook my head vigorously and wondered where these thoughts were coming from. This was not like me to reach this dark place. What was happening to me? Was this really how my life was going to end? One part of my mind said, “Yes.” The other said, “No.” The ‘cop’ part of me was wrestling with the ‘ordinary man’ part of me. I couldn’t see an out. The rescue man was trapped himself and it was me, not somebody else. It was then my mind started to cast back to my Sunday school days only this time, it was Gary Raymond the man not Gary Raymond the boy. I suddenly remembered the teacher telling me, “Jesus came to rescue you when He died on the cross”. I thought just maybe, I could be rescued after all. I recalled the teacher telling me we were created by God and did not come from a big bang to an evolutionary soup into monkeys. She explained that we all had sinned and fallen short of God’s glorious ideal and that he was angry at sin. The penalty was being cast into hell for eternity. I strongly remembered her saying that if I believed in God’s love in Christ on the cross, repented of my sin by turning away from it and come to faith in the risen Jesus, I would be saved and be with Him for eternity. The truth of those words entered the depths of my broken and guilty heart. That moment I believed.
God’s holiness contrasted with my filthy sin was brought to mind and for the first time in many years, I burst out crying loudly. I was shaking, coughing and my nose was running. I fell to the lounge room floor on my knees and elbows and yelled out, “Jesus, I need you now.” I begged God to forgive me, cleanse me and make me a brand new person. I hated what I was. It had to go. I also asked Him to heal my hurts and be with me as I sorted out my messed up life. I felt a weight lift off my soul and my anguish was replaced by His wonderful presence. Suddenly I realised I was now safe. I thought back to the times I could have been killed on duty at dangerous rescue missions and thank God today for preserving my life in the past, so I could come to him that night and avoid eternal punishment.
As I received Him, I was filled with His Holy Spirit and had a peace that I have never known before. My shame and guilt was taken away by God’s grace. When I finally got to my feet, I was still crying but it was with joy that I had been rescued by God and even though there would still be problems to face in my future, it would be different. I would now face them with God in my life. My Sunday school teacher was right. There was a rescuer to rescue the rescuer and His name is Jesus.
As I received Him, I was filled with His Holy Spirit and had a peace that I have never known before. My shame and guilt was taken away by God’s grace. When I finally got to my feet, I was still crying but it was with joy that I had been rescued by God and even though there would still be problems to face in my future, it would be different. I would now face them with God in my life. My Sunday school teacher was right. There was a rescuer to rescue the rescuer and His name is Jesus.
I went looking for my Bible which had been kept away in a box for many years, never touched until now. I started to pray, which I found was just talking to and listening to God in a conversation. I rang my brother Neil and he asked Salvation Army Major Hilton Harmer to come and visit me. Hilton explained what God had done for me that night. He prayed for me. Despite the circumstances, I slept well that night. In the morning I was amazed that I survived a major personal crisis and met God personally. Although it wasn’t over, I felt back in control with God leading the way with the solutions to my problems.
That day, I rang my mother and told her I had come to faith in Christ. She said in a matter of fact way, “I knew you would”. I found out my mother had been praying for me for fifteen years or more and wasn’t surprised that God had answered her prayers. She expected my phone call, but just didn’t know when it would come. I thank God today for my Godly mother and father.
At work, I began to tell my mates at the Rescue Squad what had happened. The first bloke I told was a committed Christian. When I told him, at first he didn’t believe me. He just stared at me and thought I was having him on. When he saw it was true, he was overjoyed. He apologised for not believing me saying, “I didn’t even pray for you, I thought you would be the last bloke on earth to give in to God and allow Him to melt your heart.” The rescue guys were sad at my marriage breakup and very curious about my new found faith in Christ. I had literally changed overnight. I had a new outlook and behaved differently. I stopped swearing and talking dirty. I stopped drinking and partying from that moment however, giving up smoking took a lot longer but with God’s help, I beat it. I couldn’t wait to go to church. I felt a real longing to be with other Christians and to hear God’s word explained. Longing to go to a good church is evidence of a stable relationship with God I’ve since learned. I went to the Salvation Army at Congress Hall the following Sunday. During the first song, I found myself walking forward and make a public commitment as I knelt and praised God for His mercy and love on my life.
That day, I rang my mother and told her I had come to faith in Christ. She said in a matter of fact way, “I knew you would”. I found out my mother had been praying for me for fifteen years or more and wasn’t surprised that God had answered her prayers. She expected my phone call, but just didn’t know when it would come. I thank God today for my Godly mother and father.
At work, I began to tell my mates at the Rescue Squad what had happened. The first bloke I told was a committed Christian. When I told him, at first he didn’t believe me. He just stared at me and thought I was having him on. When he saw it was true, he was overjoyed. He apologised for not believing me saying, “I didn’t even pray for you, I thought you would be the last bloke on earth to give in to God and allow Him to melt your heart.” The rescue guys were sad at my marriage breakup and very curious about my new found faith in Christ. I had literally changed overnight. I had a new outlook and behaved differently. I stopped swearing and talking dirty. I stopped drinking and partying from that moment however, giving up smoking took a lot longer but with God’s help, I beat it. I couldn’t wait to go to church. I felt a real longing to be with other Christians and to hear God’s word explained. Longing to go to a good church is evidence of a stable relationship with God I’ve since learned. I went to the Salvation Army at Congress Hall the following Sunday. During the first song, I found myself walking forward and make a public commitment as I knelt and praised God for His mercy and love on my life.
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When I attended rescue missions, I found myself praying under my breath for God’s safety and the ability to make effective quick decisions to save a life. I had never included Him up to now. It was all about my ability but now, it’s all about His. I also found myself, with God’s leading, talking to other cops, victims in rescue and yes, criminals about Jesus. I whispered prayers of comfort in the ears of trapped people while I was using the tools to get them out. I learned that I could minister to people and rescue them at the same time. God used me many times to save the lives of suicidal people threatening to jump from cliffs, building or bridges. As I negotiated, I was able to tell them that God loved them and had a plan for their life. Often, this was enough to cause people to come back from the edge and give their life another go. Police officers and Police public servants would come to me for advice with stressful issues in their life. These issues could be with family, friends or workplace conflict. I am able to pray with many and lead them to Jesus.
My wife divorced me, especially when she found out I’d become a committed Christian. She eventually married the bloke she took off with although later, that marriage failed when her husband left with another lady. I was alone for a number of years but was attending the Salvation Army church at Fairfield. I was really enjoying being a Christian Police Officer. Each day brought a new adventure with God and encounters with people in need. When I became a Detective, I was able to speak to a large number of criminal offenders about Jesus. Many gave their hearts and lives to God and stopped their criminal enterprises. At church I noticed a beautiful lady with brown hair and stunning brown eyes. Her name is Michelle Chapman, a primary school teacher. She also noticed me. We began a lovely friendship which soon turned into romance, engagement and marriage. We have been married for 30 years and attend the Salvation Army at the Parramatta church. |
One of the biggest challenges of my life has been my infertility. As a child I had a serious viral infection which rendered me infertile. I could still function fully as a man but could not conceive children of my own. I didn’t know this until years later. Michelle and I tried to have children without success. Doctors tried to help again without success. We decided that God had a plan even though we didn’t understand it. We could trust Him and accept His decisions. As a result, both Michelle and I have allowed God to use us in impacting children’s lives. She teaching and me doing Christian street work. I joined the Christian Police Fellowship of New South Wales and found such an uplifting time being with my fellow Christian Police employees. We would discuss how to be a Christian Police Officer whilst on duty, pray for each other, do Bible study and have a good laugh about the job as well. I also joined the Full Gospel Businessmen’s Fellowship International. What a fantastic time we have listening to testimonies, praying for people and great fellowship. I have grown as a Christian and am still growing thanks to God and my friends at FGB.
To those listening to my story, if you haven’t accepted Christ as your Saviour and Lord, start your faith journey today otherwise you are in extreme danger of an eternity in hell. God is just and will reject people who reject His Son. Maybe you’re like me. Before I put my faith in Jesus, I was fiercely independent and relied on my own abilities. Now I am fully dependant on Jesus and rely on His abilities to see me through life by His indwelling Holy Spirit. I love reading my Bible and praying. What about you? One of the proofs that you’re right with God is your hunger and thirst for His word and to talk to Him in prayer. True repentance means that you don’t do the things against God you used to do before. In other words, you obey God in your own life and in your behaviour, demonstrate His love to others.
If you have put your faith in Jesus, are you telling others about Him and the Bible? If not, why not? Do you truly believe what God says in His word? How can you allow others to go along without hearing the good news about Jesus and His love for them? Maybe you have to repent, that is turn to God and allow Him to use you to tell people about such good news.
You can ring me on 0432-569-589 or email to gary@christianpolice.org to discuss matters raised in my story.
If you have put your faith in Jesus, are you telling others about Him and the Bible? If not, why not? Do you truly believe what God says in His word? How can you allow others to go along without hearing the good news about Jesus and His love for them? Maybe you have to repent, that is turn to God and allow Him to use you to tell people about such good news.
You can ring me on 0432-569-589 or email to gary@christianpolice.org to discuss matters raised in my story.